Sunday 28 March 2010

Kick-Ass

Wow. Just wow. That is the only word I can use to describe the epically magnificent awesomeness of Matthew Vaughn's hilariously violent comic book movie Kick-Ass. No longer does the title of "Best Superhero Movie, Like, Ever" belong to The Dark Knight, for Kick-Ass has been released, and it is now king. And we must all worship it.

To call a movie Kick-Ass is very daring, critics with bad taste will no doubt use it as a pun in their reviews, bashing the movie, saying it does not kick ass. But let me tell you folks, there is no doubt about it, Kick-Ass does not only kick ass, it takes its foot, shoves it right up your asshole and tickles your prostate with its toes until you have a gigantic, monumental orgasm.


Based on Mark Millar's graphic novel of the same name, Kick-Ass revolves around Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson), a nerdy comic-book geek who dreams of one day becoming a superhero. However, his only power is, in his own words, "being invisible to girls." Although every man in the world has this power, right? Right? Right?

Anyway, after questioning his friends about the non-existence of real-life superheroes, Dave decides to do it himself, and buys a superhero outfit online, which is essentially a fuckin' wetsuit. And so, he goes out to bring vigilante justice to his town, armed with two batons and the sheer determination to fight crime. His first attempt, however, lands him in hospital after being beaten, stabbed and hit by a car. Very inspiring.


His second attempt proves more succesful, and a recording of it ends up being the most viewed video on YouTube, gaining him overwhelming media attention. He then meets up with real-life genuine superheroes Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) and Hit Girl (Chloe Mortez), who join together to try and bring down mob boss Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong).

When I came out of my screening of Kick-Ass, I could not control the massive grin that was on my face since the movie began. 'Twas a little embarrassing, walking towards the exit of the packed cinema, wearing a gigantic smile, but I was so friggin' happy! I had just had the most fun I've ever experienced in a cinema. I had just watched a masterpiece. I had just watched what is quite possibly the best movie of 2010. And I had just replaced The Dark Knight as my favourite movie of all time.


This movie, my friends, is perfect. There is not a single tiny little thing in this entire movie that I would have changed. Not one thing. Although there was one thing I would have altered in my screening of it; I would have liked the sound to have worked for the first minute of the movie. Fuck's sake.

Kick-Ass is a pumped-up action film, and I have to say, the action scenes are jaw-droppingly orgasmic. Each action scene seems to have its own style, with one being gritty, one being cartoony, and another just being overall very brutal. There's also one that's done in the dark, which, I'm not ashamed to admit, made me a little teary eyed with how awesome it was (I was clearly very hyped up for this movie, and seeing my expectations fulfilled to an unbelievable extent was very moving for me. I'm a pussy, y'see.)


As Kick-Ass throws his batons in the air, trying desperately to fight like a superhero, yet getting the shit kicked out of him, but not giving up, you are on the edge of your seat, with Vaughn's direction making it so god damn engaging. And when 11 year old Hit Girl runs down a corridor, jumping around, twirling, blasting bullets into a gang of badguys, reloading in a millisecond, and shooting again, whilst "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett plays, trust me, you'll shit yourself in pure awe of what you are witnessing. In short, words cannot express how mind-blowingly stunning these action scenes are.

The cast is also magnificent, with Johsnon playing our geeky hero to perfection. The Brit absolutely fucking nails the American accent (take notes Gerard Butler), and is a very strong lead, making the character rather absorbing to watch as he fails miserabely trying to live out his dream of being a vigilante. Also on fine form is Nicolas Cage (no, I'm not kidding, Cage is good in this.....yes, he is) as Big Daddy. However, some may be rather confused as to what the hell is up with his voice when he is in costume, as he does a little Adam West homage, taking small pauses in between words. It's a bit, uh, weird.

But it's 13 year old Chloe Moretz who steals the show as the brilliantly foul-mouthed 11 year old Hit Girl. Her performance is nothing short of "AHMAGAWD, AMAZING!!" and truly is the best in the movie. She's the most captivating character, slaughtering her way through the villains in such a marvelous fashion, gloriously saying "cunts" (tee hee) and overall just kicking some ass. And then some.


Kick-Ass is also a hilarious movie, with spectacular comic timing and wit surrounding it. The interaction between Dave and his friends Marty (Clark Duke) and Todd (Evan Peters) leads to many laughs, with them consistently mocking each other. Also, there's a scene in other superhero Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse)'s car, where Kick-Ass starts dacing to Gnarls Barkley's song Crazy, which is just so friggin' random that it's pricelessly funny.

But, most of the comedy in this movie comes from how amazingly over-the-top it is with the action sequences. The finale of the movie, the big massive action scene, is uproariously funny, with one of D'Amico's men becoming so desperate to kill Hit Girl that he goes and gets a massive fuckin' bazooka to blast her 11 year old ass away. Oh, and I have to say, Kick-Ass has the best and most satisfying finale of a movie I have ever seen.


With some of the most jaw-dropping action sequences I have ever seen, and side-splitting comedy as well as some genuinely great acting, Kick-Ass is the number one movie to see of 2010. My entire audience was in fits of laughter for the whole thing, as was I, and that massive grin I had throughout Kick-Ass is well-deserved. This movie is a masterpiece in modern filmmaking, and is now my favourite film.

10/10

2 comments:

  1. Well I hope it lives up to your hype as I'm seeing it next weekend

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  2. OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT!!! And also, great review Stephen! You are the only reviewer I will pay attention to! You're awesometastic!!!
    :)

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