Splice

You know The SyFy channel that airs in the UK? In case you don't, let me fill you in. The SyFy channel is a TV station which regularly airs cheap, low-budget science fiction movies that are more often than not absolutely atrociously awful. They're laughable, they're poorly made and they're painful to watch on most occasions. Now, I don't commit myself to watching these "movies" but I have caught glimpes of them while channel surfing and I have to say, my eyes are scarred with images of sickeningly repulsive filmmaking.

Some films are destined to end up on this TV station, to be one of the crappy B-movies laughed at by however many viewers it can muster, which I would assume is very few. And Vincenzo Natali's new movie Splice has the appearance of one of these films. All of the elements are there as bait for the SyFy channel to eat up, digest and spew onto our television screens, but for some reason, Splice rises against it.

The film stars big-nose himself Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley as Clive Nicoli and Elsa Kast, two committed scientists working in the field of gene splicing. One day, they get a tad ambitious and decide to splice human DNA with that of several different animals in the hopes of creating a new creature, despite being refused permission by officials. Naughty scientists!

And so, they go ahead with their little experiment and the result is a disgusting moving sack thing which attacks everything around it. Eww. However, from this cocoon sprouts a deformed female baby with crooked legs, a tail, a line splitting its scalp in two and eyes freakishly far apart from each other. Again, eww.

They learn that this new breed of creature they have created, which they name Dren, is growing at a rapid rate and will become fully-grown in a matter of months. As Dren develops more and more she becomes increasingly dangerous, risking the lives of those around her and causing much hastle for Clive and Elsa, eventually leading to murderous disaster. Dun dun dun.

For the first 15 or 20 minutes of the film, I was very unsure of it. The opening titles sequence is quite impressive, if coming across as a little familiar, but it sets the tone well for what is to follow. And then the film properly begins, starting off as your typical sci-fi horror, which, judging from what I was watching on-screen, I thought the rest of the movie would be like. Just another pile of pointless, cliched crap. But it isn't. Not really.

The film has a consistently eerie feel to it, one which is missing from many modern day horror flicks. There's some genuinely tense moments created by the great direction from Natali, helping in the movie's sense of paranoia, although it has its fair share of predictable happenstances too. It's paced quite slowly, but this is deliberate and is nothing if it's not effective, there's plenty of exciting moments to keep the plot moving forward fast enough.

In terms of actual scariness, Splice isn't too bad. There are some scenes where it resorts to cheap jump scares, which in this day and age is expected. Boo, abrupt decibel level change! However, the film's creepy tone is enough to have your buttocks on the edge of your seat throughout. The film's consistently freaky as hell.

Speaking of freaky as hell, we have Dren, the humanoid monster of this above average B-movie and boy, what a great character! Delphine Chanéac plays her at first as childlike, curious about the world and wanting to escape her surroundings, which of course would lead to havoc. It's interesting as her character goes from cute and cuddly to vicious and deadly in a split second, making her a substantially entertaining and intriguing villain. For the whole film, you know she's gonna turn very nasty at some point, but guessing how and when is all part of the fun.

The special effects used on Chanéac are hella incredible. The CGI splitting her eyes wide apart is jaw-droppingly ingenious and really shows what special effects can do. In fact, there were parts where I actually started wondering whether or not Chanéac's eyes indeed were that wide apart, but alas, the movie had tricked me.

Another of Splice's strong points are the two main leads, Brody and Polley. Unlike most B-movies, the acting in Splice is not stilted or corny, it's emotional and believable. Both of their characters have moments of likability as well as unlikability, and are three dimensional people. In a sci-fi horror, gasp. Brody is more against the creation of Dren while Polley is all cutest-wootsy with the hideous little shit, but their roles soon switch.

As for the film's weak points, well, it's certainly not without them. The script for one isn't that strong. It's not a bad script, not at all, but what it is is forgettable and uncaptivating, not standing out enough. It seems that it was too reliant on the plot and scares instead of the writing, which does pull the film down from what could have been a very high pedestal. Also, there's a pretty shocking and unexpected scene about four fifths into the film which is just....uncomfortable to watch and takes away from the film. I won't spoil it, but let's just say that Adrien Brody loves him some bestiality.

Splice is definitely an above average flick for its genre and I was fairly surprised by its intelligence. Its slow but engaging, a tad uncomfortable but eerie and effective with monumentally brilliant special effects, emotional performances and great direction. And as a side note, dayum, that hybrid creature lady is smokin' hot!

6/10.