Frozen

Frozen is a movie that asks us what we would do if put in such a remarkably dire predicament as the one we are presented with. As with any situational horror, we theoretically put ourselves in the character's fearful footsteps - or in this case, dangling chair - and create our own survival strategies, promptly ending up shouting at the screen, bemused as to why the actors won't do what we're telling them to; namely because the director says otherwise.

Several times throughout Frozen, I found myself questioning the behaviour of the protagonists and pathetically desiring to sit beside them so I could yell in their ear what they're doing right and what they're doing wrong. Alas, this did not occur. And this is what makes Frozen such a breathtaking experience; you imagine yourself in the character's shoes and thinking about what you yourself would do, given the unlucky chance of experiencing what they regrettably are.

In this case, we are following three young college students: Joe (Shawn Ashmore), Dan (Kevin Zegers) and the latter's girlfriend, Parker (Emma Bell). None of them have anymore depth than a snowflake, but they are extraordinarily likeable leads; thank Christ, most of the film is them conversing for 94 minutes straight. They're on a trip to a ski resort, but are not willing to pay the full price for tickets, so bribe the ski lift attendant to let them take a few lesser priced spins on the ride.

He accepts and the trio go and have fun. However, once the resort is about to shut down early for the week, they ask to have one more ride, convincing the grumpy attendant to yield with their sweet widdle faces. They go out on the ski lift, and through a slightly far-fetched series of unfortunate events, the seat stops halfway through its course and the three friends look behind them to see the place's lights go out as everyone leaves the site. While they first laugh and believe this to be a joke, it soon looms on them that they're gonna be stuck there on the mechanism for quite some time.

The rest of the film consists of our sniffle-nosed threesome uncontrollably shivering, looking a-scared and irritably complaining about the weather; fair enough, it looks pretty fucking cold. They're high up in the air, they're suffering from frostbite and it doesn’t look like there's going to be anyone around to help them for a total of five days. Bummer.

For Frozen's majority, Joe, Dan and - to a lesser extent - Parker make several desperate and suspenseful attempts to get down from the suspended ski lift, with many miserable failures. To make matters worse, there's a pack of bloodthirsty wolves gathering below, staring up at the helpless tourists and hungrily licking their lips. They stay put, they freeze to death. They jump, they heavily risk breaking a few bones and getting eaten alive.

Nevertheless, the abandoned trinity try to keep their hopes up, regularly repeating, "Everything's gonna be okay," and, "We're gonna be fine" over and over again. Yes, ermm, I'm sure you'll all live to the end credits. I'm sure of it. Mm-hmm. Adam Green, the main man behind the camera, impressively manages to keep our attention focused on these three suffering characters for damn near the film's entire length, despite them spending most of it stuck to a chair.

Green has thrown a mountain-load of tension-filled snowballs at what should be a mediocre flick, causing an unexpected avalanche of edge-of-your-chairlift entertainment. He's pitted everything against these strikingly appealing individuals, from fanged canines lurking below to that bastard known as the freezing-cold weather, and we really get a sense of how hopeless these characters feel.

Ashmore, Bell and Zegers are all substantially watchable and endearing actors, delivering Green's lines to a satisfying level, their relationships to one another very believable. Joe and Dan are childhood best friends, both sarcastic jokers but not meanies or bullies, just all-round nice guys with warm hearts. Parker is a tad whiney, but nonetheless a lovable lady who shares a conflicting relationship with Dan, who feels like a third wheel. Some of their conversations may seem like useless time-fillers, but what they do say is interesting and expands on them as characters.

Frozen has our trio fight, bicker, make escape plans, cry, wee themselves and reminisce about the good old days when they weren't freezing to death on a chairlift. Green has smartly sprinkled the film with moments of humour in the wittingly scribed dialogue and smothered it in an atmosphere of anxiety, making for an excellent and entertaining tale of man against nature. Although I have to ask, what's Iceman from the X-Men got to worry about a bit of snow for?

8/10