You know the drill. It’s all vibrant sunsets and longing looks of unhinged passion, all set to pleasant little piano tunes and acoustic indie tracks that linger in the background of almost every scene. Schmaltzy montages (I counted seven) stalk the narrative and bring it to a halt with music video interludes, which depict, among many other things, canoe-rowing, nose-nuzzling, bed-humping and Zac Efron (swoon!) showing off his pecs and biceps as he fixes drain pipes and drives rusty tractors around a dirty dog kennel. Swoon indeed.
Efron, the hunky heartthrob who found fame in the “High School Musical” franchise, is here playing a US Marine called Logan Thibault. Sporting a finely trimmed stubble and a sexy buzzcut, Logan is serving his third tour of duty in Iraq, the scenes of which call to mind recent war actioners “Green Zone” and “The Hurt Locker.” On the morning after a troubling night raid, Logan spots something sitting atop a pile of rubble: a photograph. He strolls over to the photo, takes it in his hand and sees that it is of a woman; a beautiful, blonde-haired woman. As he stares at the picture, an explosion happens a few feet behind him, right in the spot in which he was standing when he saw the picture. He realises something: that picture saved his life, and he owes that blonde-haired woman a hard-earned thank you.
Eight months later, Logan returns to Colorado, where he is haunted by memories of his service in Iraq (video game sound effects startle him, and he very nearly attacks his young nephew upon a sudden wake-up call). However, this rather interesting character development is very quickly dumped and never mentioned again as Logan sets off on-foot to find the woman in the photograph. With his trusty German shepherd Zeus sticking by his side, Logan wanders from town-to-town, asking locals if they recognise the woman in the picture. There’s no such luck until he comes to Louisiana, where finally (and rather unbelievably) somebody recognises her.
As it turns out, the woman is called Beth Clayton (Schilling). She is a divorcee, is single (score!) and she owns a family-run dog kennel in the small town of Hamden. Living with her in her spacious home is her spunky, good-humoured mother (Blythe Danner, “Little Fockers”) and her multi-talented, curly-haired cutie of a son, Ben (Riley Thomas Stewart, “The Beaver”), who is an amateur magician and a player of chess, baseball and the violin (show-off).
Logan approaches Beth, but hesitates, and decides instead to apply for a job opening at the kennel. He gets the job, is quickly accepted into the family and strikes up a bit of a romance with Beth, but trouble soon arises in the shape of Beth’s asshole of an ex-husband, Keith (Jay R. Ferguson, “Mad Men”). A power-abusing sherrif, Keith is basically the epitome of epic douchebaggery. He is a beer-chugging brute who takes more than a bit of a jealous turn when he sees Beth and Logan together, deciding to do everything in his power to break them up. I should also note that Ferguson’s fleshy face is one of the most punchable I’ve ever seen on-screen, which I guess helps his performance as the story’s cartoonish antagonist.
“The Lucky One” is directed by Australian filmmaker Scott Hicks, who 16 years ago directed Geoffrey Rush in an Oscar-winning performance in touching David Helfgott biopic “Shine” - I somehow doubt he’ll do the same for Mr Efron here. Sparks’ novel, published in 2008, has been adapted by Will Fetter, who recently wrote another romantic drama starring a teenage heartthrob, the Robert Pattinson-boasting “Remember Me,” in 2010, with notably mixed results - the ending was tasteless and bloody infuriating, but all that came before was perfectly acceptable.
“The Lucky One,” too, is a mixed bag, though in this case it’s leaning more towards the negative side of things. Efron and Schilling, both very fine physical specimens, have a certain sexual chemistry that bulldozes its way through some slack characterisation. However, Fetter (and probably Sparks) feeds both of them the kind of cheesy lines that wouldn’t seem out of place in the “Twilight” saga. “You should be kissed every day, every hour and every minute,” says Efron, with his tongue sliding its way down Schilling’s much obliging throat.
It’s also of no help that neither Efron nor Schilling feel like the main character who’s meant to be guiding us through this faux-engaging love story. If it’s meant to be Efron, his character is too slack and uninteresting, much as the “Charlie St. Cloud” actor turns on his boyish, blue-eyed charm. And if it’s meant to be Schilling, her presence isn’t strong or frequent enough, even though the “Atlas Shrugged” actress clearly shows some talent. The truth is, it’s neither of them, and the film is consequently left lumbering its way through the stupendously clichéd story, which is predictable at the best of times and in the end comes to an all too expected and ultimately forgettable close.
I’ll say for “The Lucky One” the same thing I said for “The Vow:” there is an audience for this film, and that audience probably knows who they are. That audience will presumably be buying tickets for the film, regardless of anything I say, and I don’t doubt that they will find it an enjoyable, breezy watch. It is a date movie, and for that it is sufficient; as anything else, it’s completely useless, and if you’re not a part of this audience, you would certainly not be lucky to be dragged to it by your girlfriend (or possibly even your boyfriend) - you may, however, get “lucky” following your screening of the film.
5/10
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