Johnny English Reborn

I'm going to start this review by informing you, dear reader, that I like "Johnny English." Yes, sharpen your pitchforks and light your torches as much as you please, but you still won't change the fact that I, shockingly, like "Johnny English." I viewed it as a young 'un in 2003 and I loved it; I still do, though maybe to a lesser degree now. I believe it to be a very amusing and frequently rib-tickling British comedy that works splendidly as a family-friendly spy spoof. It's a fine film, and I like it. And now, dear reader, I am going to inform you that I, scandalous lover of the first "Johnny English" movie, do not at all like "Johnny English Reborn."

This is the first (and hopefully last) sequel to "Johnny English," arriving a grand total of eight years after the original's release. It sees Rowan Atkinson returning as the eponymous spy with a license to make a complete arse out of himself. As expected, he is as bumbling and incompetent as ever; that's fine, that's what I, among a few others, like about the character. The problem is, "Johnny English Reborn" the movie is as equally bumbling and incompetent as the character, if not more so.

Once again, English is a destructor of anything and anyone he comes into contact with; leave him in a room with a cat, poor pussy will be flung, whiskers and all, out of an eight-storey window. Invite him to a kids' birthday party, expect grandma to be hilariously (read: violently) beaten over the head with a serving tray. Why this man is allowed anywhere near a gun, let alone high-tech gadget weaponry, I do not know.

I guess you can call me curious as to why it is still this man’s duty to serve on her majesty’s secret service and protect his country. Considering how incessantly accident-prone he is, it seems very irresponsible of MI7 to keep English working for them. Maybe it's because he gets the job done in the end, always catching the bad guy by pure chance. But still, the path to his criminal-catching glory is always a trail of fiery destruction; surely the risk is far too great.

Anyway, at the beginning of this deeply uninspired sequel, Johnny is attempting to find himself with some monks in Tibet after having royally screwed up his last mission (which resulted in the death of the President of Mozambique). However, following some kicks to the groin, he's soon called back into duty when the life of the Chinese premier is threatened by a group of deadly assassins.

Joining him on his perilous mission is the young Special Agent Tucker (Daniel Kaluuya, “Chatroom”), whose common sense is frequently ignored by his middle-aged partner. Together, English and Tucker travel the world in their attempts to uncover the true identities of the villainous assassins, falling out of cable-cars and thumping the living daylights out of old ladies along the way.

As it was with its predecessor, “Johnny English Reborn” survives on the juxtaposition of James Bond-style espionage and the relentless ineptitude of the main character. English, much as he wants to be 007, is the complete opposite of 007; he’s a clumsy buffoon who wouldn’t be able to make a bowl of cornflakes without setting the kitchen on fire. His incompetence is the film’s running joke and it tries to keep this joke going from the opening scene right up until the end credits; the first film somewhat succeeded at this; the second does not.

The joke is tired now; it’s already ran for one whole movie and even by the opening moments of “Reborn” it begins to feel almost entirely worn-out. Every scene involving English feels like nothing more than a platform for him to screw something up, which here becomes laborious incredibly quickly; we’ve seen it all before and only on the very rare occasion is it genuinely funny.

This truly is a shame, because Atkinson has proven himself again and again to be an incredibly talented man of comedy. Look at his work in “Blackadder,” in “Mr. Bean,” in “Not the Nine O’Clock News” and even in the “Johnny English” films and you will see that he is very skilled in his line of work. He’s a fabulous comedian in both the physical and the verbal sense, perfectly displaying his rare abilities throughout “Reborn,” yet, much as he tries, he can do nothing to save this clunky comedy from plunging to the bottom of the barrel.

“Johnny English Reborn” may be bigger in scale than its perfectly enjoyable predecessor, but its comedy factor is almost running on empty. Atkinson gives it his all and manages to squeeze out a few laugh-worthy moments from a dreadfully stale script, but this spy farce feels hackneyed and lacking in imagination. Thankfully, though, it doesn’t look like Johnny will ever be returning to the big-screen for a third outing; you only live twice, y’see.

3/10