The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Ah, Narnia. A magical land filled with talking animals, beastly monsters, kings, queens, and parallels to Christian beliefs (boo, hiss!). The first big-screen portrayal of this enchanting world came from the inside of a wardrobe, the second from the London Underground, and now, in this third instalment, it's entered through the use of a painting -- which is suitable, because watching "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" is like watching paint dry.

The third of the chronicles stemmed from the mind of author C. S. Lewis, "Dawn Treader" continues the adventures of the Pevensie children -- well, the two younger ones. Lucy (Georgie Henley) and Edmund (Skandar Keynes), now teenagers, have moved into the house of their aunt and uncle while Susan (Anna Popplewell, "Girl with a Pearl Earring") is in America, and Peter (William Moseley) studies for exams elsewhere. Such a nerd.

Edmund shares a room with Eustace Scrubb (Will Poulter, "Son of Rambow"), he and Lucy's stuck-up brat of a cousin. One day, while Eustace taunts Edmund and Lucy about their obscure ramblings of a fantasy world, the trio watch as water leaks out of a painting on the wall. The whole room quickly floods, and the three adolescents are pulled into the frame to find themselves in the waters of Narnia.

They are picked up by the Dawn Treader, a dragon-shaped royal vessel carrying Caspian (Ben Barnes, "Dorian Gray"), King of Narnia, and his loyal crew. Caspian is on a quest to find the Seven Lost Lords of Narnia, men banished by his evil uncle Miraz when he assumed the throne. Lucy and Edmund gladly decide to help Caspian on his journey, while Eustace tags along and complains about damn near everything.

Meanwhile, a mysterious green mist has been popping up everywhere, causing scared Narnians to disappear without a trace. Coming from a spooky island covered in darkness, the lime-coloured mist is growing stronger, already on the verge of consuming the whole of Narnia. Caspian, Lucy, Edmund and Eustace must also find the Seven Swords of the Lost Lords to defeat this evil before it takes over all the land.

"The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" is a film that's all about its special effects. Set in an otherworldly setting, it shows off its eloquently-rendered CGI in the form of fire-breathing dragons, vicious sea serpents, sword-waving mice, and roaring, agony-uncle lions. It looks nice, it sounds nice, but the $140 million budget has been overused in all the wrong areas.

The third entry of the epic saga needs a much stronger storyline, as this one is quick to fall overboard and get lost at sea. As the central plot gets distracted and unfocused for the sake of more magical goings-on, the film -- despite the beauty of the ever-present computer animation -- becomes a tired bore that challenged my attention span. Even at just 115 minutes long, "Dawn Treader" was a harsh test on my usually-patient concentration.

A principal problem here is the writing by Christopher Markus ("You Kill Me"), Stephen McFeely ("The Life and Death of Peter Sellers") and Michael Petroni ("Queen of the Damned"). Putting the content of Lewis' praised book aside for a moment, the adaptation's writing lacks much of an imagination. The dialogue is missing a punch, and there's a shortage of interesting characters. A film of this nature should have a true sense of epicness, but the script disallows this, despite the grand-scale set-pieces.

Our two main characters, Lucy and Edmund, don't carry much weight either, their personalities needing more oomph to them. Henley has naturally lost the adorable cuteness of the young and curious Lucy we saw in "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe," more of a grown-up now. As a result, the now-teenage girl who was the first to discover Narnia has gone a bit stale, though there's an interesting subplot of her wanting to be as beautiful as her sister, Susan.

Edmund suffers a similar flaw, the film's writing struggling to give him a proper characterisation. He is being haunted by the green mist as it taunts him with visions of The White Witch (Tilda Swinton, "Michael Clayton"), the wicked-minded ex-ruler of Narnia, one of the many forgettable occurrences of the movie.

On the other hand, the character of Eustace delivers an actual impact primarily because Poulter is so over-the-top. The up-and-comer plays a snooty and selfish school kid with a vocabulary the size of Big Ben, using unnaturally elongated words as he raises his nose at others. The 17-year-old channels the silliness he displayed in sketch-show "School of Comedy," exaggerating a snotty English accent (himself a Brit), the likes of which could compete in a Posh-Off with Her Majesty The Queen herself. Blimey.

Sadly, "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" is a sour let-down. Under the direction of Michael Apted ("Amazing Grace"), it fails to hook, to entice, and to fully entertain. It struggles to even work as a kids' film, as young audience members will most likely be running around the theatre as a result of sheer boredom. Narnia's gone naff. Still, there's a talking mouse voiced by the awesome Simon Pegg ("Hot Fuzz"). That's something.

4/10