Yogi Bear

For some reason, "The Yogi Bear Show" passed me by in my childhood years. The Hanna-Barbera cartoon, started in 1961, was never part of my TV-viewing schedule, though I was aware of its existence. I've seen clips of it, maybe an occasional episode, but I never watched it on a regular basis nor fully committed to it. I was always more of a "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!" and "Rugrats" fan. Oh, those were the days.

Still, it was difficult not to feel a sense of disgust when I saw what had been done to the respected, classic kids' series. Yes, "Yogi Bear" has been given the CGI/live-action modern update treatment and has been thrown into theatres like a skinned carcass for a pack of hyenas to thoughtlessly devour. They did it to "Scooby-Doo," "Alvin and the Chipmunks" and "The Flintstones," and now they're doing it to the picnic-stealing bear, too. God have mercy.

This dumbed-down film adaptation has a computer-generated Yogi (voiced by Dan Aykroyd, "Ghost Busters") and Boo Boo (Justin Timberlake, "The Social Network") implanted into a live-action setting. They live, as always, in Jellystone Park, a tourist resort with a beautiful forest and a tranquil lake. If only Jason Voorhees were around.

Yogi and Boo Boo go about their days trying to steal the lunches of clueless visitors, much to the dismay of Ranger Smith (Tom Cavanagh, "Bang Bang You're Dead"). Meanwhile, a nature-loving documentarian, Rachel (Anna Faris, "Scary Movie"), is planning to shoot the wildlife of the park. Sadly, she'll be using a camera.

The city is in bankruptcy, and the arrogant, uncaring, conniving Mayor Brown (Andrew Daly, "Semi-Pro") is planning to close Jellystone Park as it is no longer making a profit. Maybe because there's an excruciating bear walking about the place, talking to visitors in a nauseating voice before trying to pinch their food off of them? Just a suggestion.

And so, Yogi and Boo Boo must help Ranger Smith and Ranger Jones (T.J. Miller, "Cloverfield") save Jellystone Park from being shut down. Of course, their meddling only leads to more trouble as the two rangers try to make money from firework displays (in broad daylight for some inexplicable reason) and donations. Hysterical (not) shenanigans ensue.

So, yeah, "Yogi Bear" ain't no pic-a-nic. The film rushes into an anorexic plot (Yogi and Boo Boo have most likely snatched all its food, I guess) and nibbles away at it with hardly any effort put in. The love subplot between Rachel and Ranger Smith comes from absolutely nowhere, the relationship between Smith and Yogi is muddled at best, and the central storyline is simply very poorly handled. The film's not confused, but it has no idea how to effectively tell the story. Your kids deserve better.

The jokes will fail to amuse even the youngest of children, and the film doesn't seem to have even bothered to entertain older audiences. Not one moment is even the slightest bit comical, though gags are always wandering among the wilderness, setting off bear traps with every step they take.

Our supposedly lovable heroes go water-skiing, get splattered in the face with pies, handcuff themselves to trees, and fall off roofs. For the love of all that is holy, they dance to Sir Mix-A-Lot's "I Like Big Butts" halfway through the movie. I repeat, your kids deserve so much better.

Aykroyd's impersonation of Daws Butler is almost spot-on (Butler's voice sounded more natural), but quickly becomes grating on the ears. He never stops talking (mostly about food), with each word coming out of his sharp-toothed mouth more irritating than the last. Someone please attach a muzzle to his snout.

Timberlake is unrecognisable (lucky for him) as Boo Boo, his nasal voice oddly not quite as annoying as Aykroyd's. That really is not saying much, though. I'll give credit to the singer/actor for giving it his all, a lot of work has clearly been put into recreating Don Messick's vocals. Gee, Yogi.

Our living, breathing, human characters are almost as cartoonish as the two talking, furry animals. Cavanagh, Farris and Miller's performances are shaky, while Daly is more reliable as the hammy villain. Each interacts with the CGI bears rather well, despite the animation looking as realistic as Katie Price's jugs. Then again, Yogi and Boo Boo aren't meant to appear real, more like googly-eyed, three-dimensional cartoons very clearly drawn on someone's laptop.

Despite the titular bear's claims, "Yogi Bear" is dumber than the average film. It's all sorts of mindless, none of which are positive in any way, with the jokes as stale as a 50-year-old slice of bread. It plods along with no sense of plot or taste, effective slapstick or a working brain. In short, "Yogi Bear" is a definite boo-boo.

2/10