These characters are not engaging, they are not entrancing, and they are not sympathetic. It's difficult to see them as anything other than dirt bags and cowards, given the moral corruption of their sneaky actions. Because of this, the love story at the centre of the plot is a tedious drag that numbs the buttocks faster than any anaesthetic ever could. Who would want to sit through 100+ minutes of irritating characters whining about not being able to be with the one they have a crush on? It's very, very tiring, and no amount of piano riffs humming away in the background can change this.
But who are these characters? Well, our protagonist is Rachel White (Ginnifer Goodwin, "Big Love"), an attorney living in New York. She's been single for quite some time, though she has her eyes set on the very hunky Dex Thaler (Colin Egglesfield, "All My Children"), and always has ever since they went to law school together. The only problem is that Dex is engaged to marry Rachel's long-time BFF Darcy Rhone (Kate Hudson, "Bride Wars"), a thirtysomething party girl who always gets what she wants.
On the night of Rachel's 30th birthday, a surprise party is thrown in her honour, in which Darcy stands in front of a PowerPoint which shows pictures of her and Rachel together over the many years, Darcy talking about how they've always been the best of friends since they've been kids, and how Rachel introduced Darcy to her fiancé Dex. Shortly after this, Rachel has her tongue stuck down Dex's throat. This is after both have had a hefty amount to drink, but hey, screw morals and loyalty and whatever.
Waking up to find themselves in bed with each other, they're a little panicky, but manage to sneakily explain to Darcy why Dex didn't come home last night. Following this, the two decide to just pretend that nothing ever happened, but of course this does not exactly last very long. Rachel also feels guilty -- she even watches the climactic scene of "Fatal Attraction," which is so hilariously ironic. This film is genius.
Throwing any sense of right and wrong to the side, Dex and Rachel embark upon a passionate affair, this completely unbeknownst to Darcy as she excitedly plans for the wedding. So, will Rachel end up with Dex? Will Darcy and Dex get married? Will Darcy find out about the affair? And will she and Rachel still be BFFs if she does? I honestly couldn't give a hoot.
Based on Emily Griffin's chick lit novel of the same name, "Something Borrowed" is obnoxiously uninteresting, its thin-as-an-anorexic plot painfully stretched out to make it a full-length feature film. I wouldn't usually label a movie as "boring," as different people find different things entertaining, but in this case I simply have to call it that. It is boring. Very, very boring, to the point where it actually feels like the suffering is never going to stop. The end credits were a sweet relief, let me tell you.
The plot is like Nancy Meyers' brilliant "It's Complicated," but with characters who aren't even the slightest bit appealing. In Meyers' film, the characters were amusing, the adultery was playful and involving, the film overall quite riveting. In "Something Borrowed," it feels like we're just watching melodrama ensue, the characters beyond annoying, the adultery coming across as nasty, selfish and deceitful, which makes the adulterers' fate quite sickening. Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, where the hell are you?
The film is being marketed as a comedy, but really there's barely a gag to be seen -- well, aside from in the throats of audience members. And if it is genuinely meant to be categorised as a comedy, then wow, what a stinker of a laugh-em-up, 'cause there's nary a joke that works in the whole thing. The majority of the film is just pure melodrama, the second half especially, and what could be called comedy feels more like comic relief, pretty much all coming from Rachel's sarcastic platonic pal Ethan (John Krasinski, "Away We Go"). Though to be fair, a scene in which Ethan claims to be gay so that a woman stops trying to sleep with him did get a chuckle out of me -- you see, the only gag that works is a friggin' gay joke. Sigh.
With the romance falling flat on its face and the comedy dead in the water, "Something Borrowed" is a humongous failure of a romantic comedy, filled with characters who nobody could possibly give a toss about. I wish the film could have borrowed my interest, but sadly something else kept on doing that, something far more intriguing that just so happened to be wrapped around my wrist: my watch.
2/10
Why do people hate this movie so much its amazing i don't care what other people say.
ReplyDeleteThis movie so good !!
ReplyDelete